Live Fully Alive

Intuitive Living for the Modern Woman

 
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Wake Up. Find Your Voice. Become Fully Alive.

 
 
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This takes time. Learning to use my voice has been in the works for decades. Constantly bombarded with the messages to talk softly, to not stand up for myself, to put men's wants above my own, to be the peacemaker, and certainly not disagree. A woman with an opinion... and God forbid her own thoughts and desires was not an attractive quality. A man's wants always came above my own. What he needed was always more important. And so I kept silent. I became small. For years. Showing only the acceptable versions of myself. Not getting too passionate about anything. Not questioning too much. Otherwise, I'd be considered a bitch. Too strong of a woman. Too outspoken. And that was not attractive. So I responded with, "yes" or "that sounds fine" or "it doesn't matter to me, I'm easy. Whatever you want." But that is not me. I have a poweful voice!! I am strong. I do have an opinion. And little by little I found it. A couple years ago I started to speak up. Even in the tiniest ways, I used my voice. And that is the only reason I can do what I do. Because I found my voice. "Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we need to worry that we might have to make a choice between being heard and being loved." -Marianne Williamson
This to me a mic drop moment. And something I've been deeply learning. This morning I woke up extra early to meditate before the sun came up. As I sat down in my chair and closed my eyes, I was struck with an inaudible voice... And it said... "Ask my dear. Ask. It's ok to be open to receive." As soon as I felt those words, tears began softly rolling down my cheeks. I whispered back... "Show me how to trust..." In that moment I felt compelled to get on the floor and sit on my knees. I needed to move my body so that I could open and begin this experience of flow. I arched my back, tilted my head back, raised my arms high, open like a "V" to the sky...and I wept. I wept because it felt so vulnerable. I wept because I was scared. I wept because I was learning to trust. I wept because I was being brave enough to ask. I asked for all the good to flow in. I asked for ease in receiving it. And then I asked something profound for me... I ASKED FOR MORE. God, Universe, Source, Higher Power, Spirit (whatever you want to call it)... Meet me. I am asking for more. This felt huge. It still feels huge. I am content with what I have, but I want to see how life can get even better. I want to open up to even more. And even beyond that... I asked as a practice to learn to bravely open up and receive it. And so I visualized it being added to my cup. Seeing my cup begin to overflow... And through my tears and my outstretched arms I repeated... thank you..... thank you thank you thank you thank.