S2: EP6 - IS ANYONE ELSE LONELY?

Living Fully Alive Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, and Youtube

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.
— BRENE BROWN

SHOW NOTES

What happened to community?

If we rewind the clock, community has been an integral part of society. And more than that even, it was a means of survival. Running in a human pack meant we were able to defend ourselves easier. So being in a part of community created protection. Being alone = death.

But now that we don’t need community for our actual survival anymore, can we still benefit from it?

Yes. Most people want to be part of a community because there is something lovely about being a part of a group of people. We can come together, share commonalities, feel seen and heard, and when we do it helps us to feel less lonely. A community is a safe space. And I believe we are all desperately longing to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We are wanting a sense of belonging.

I believe the main culprit to me is the rise of our online world. It’s replaced simply getting out and being with real people. Knowing your neighbors. Sitting around a dinner table for hours talking and laughing. 

-We have fake online friends

-People to deliver our dinner and our groceries

-People to deliver ANYTHING

-Fake community

In a time when we're suppose to be more connected than ever, the truth is we are all feeling displaced. 

And when we are with real people, we are usually pausing every few minutes to text or scroll Instagram that we aren’t even present anyway.

What happens when we are not present…

-We lose touch with the real world - and stay in fantasy thinking. We get consumed with the highlight reel. 

-We lose empathy - we don’t catch micro-expressions, we don’t listen, we have a barrier between us and other people

-We don’t pay attention to our actually needs and numb with media. 

-We miss out on the magic of the moment

-We sacrifice our peace - peace comes from the present moment. 

However, there is so much power in coming together. So much power in real friendships. Those real people we can count on. People that we live life with. This is why I’m devoting an entire month to this topic.

5 Benefits of Community:

  1. Sense of belonging

We feel like we have a place in the world with other people. A seat at the table. We are able to feel seen, heard and to be reminded we matter.

2. Support - giving and receiving 

“It takes a village.” We are able to help one another get through hard times or big transitions. This allows us to step outside of ourself and show up for others. And in return, we have other people that we can count on too.

3. Celebration

There are big moments that happen in everyone’s lives, and have a community to celebrate with helps to mark the occasion. It’s the part of community that brings life and joy to what is happening. It gives us permission to pause and soak it all in. It’s just simply sweeter when you have people to celebrate with!

4. Challenge

Iron sharpens iron. This is so necessary if we want to continue to evolve. We need other people to question us, challenge us, and keep us accountability to our highest selves. Often times being in a healthy community will positively push us forward when our circle is committed to learning and growing.

5. Growth

We simply cannot know it all. Being a part of a community gives us access to other people’s experiences, wisdom, knowledge, skills, and minds. Our expand because we are exposed to new ideas and new perspectives.

—-

In this month’s podcast episodes, I want to explore ways to cultivate community, how to foster authenticity and vulnerability in our friendships, I want to have candid conversations about letting go of toxic friendships, how to actually make friends, and then be a good friend. But before we explore the how-to’s when it comes to community… we need to do a little brief mindset work. 

So y’all it’s time to get honest:

In order to come back to community, we have to gain some new awareness and we can do that in 3 ways: 

  1. Acknowledge what’s missing

  2. Acknowledge how we’ve been isolating ourselves

  3. Acknowledge what we want

Stay tuned for the other episodes coming up this month to dive even deeper inside COMMUNITY.


DIY “connected” BLEND

RECIPE FROM “I AM FABULOUS” BY DESIREE MANGANDOG

Place drops in a 5ml roller bottle. Fill the rest with fractionated coconut oil. Apply to inside of wrists creases, back of neck and over heart area. *Avoid direct sunlight for 12-24 hours after applying as some of these oils are photosensitive.
Combine: 8 drops cedarwood, 5 cassia, 5 wild orange, 3 grapefruit, 3 marjoram, and 2 ylang ylang.

“Connected blend reminds you that you are not alone. Everyone is part of a greater human community, and also a part of smaller communities. You may benefit from this blend if you were hurt in the past, and then decided to create a wall and not let anyone get close to your heart. It's a defense mechanism. Connected will help you begin letting others deeply in.” - Desiree Mangandog

Essential oils are a powerful tool to help you connect with your emotions and your body. And this blend will help break down your walls to that you can open up to the support a community has to offer.

BLEND BREAKDOWN (TAKEN FROM THE BOOK: I AM FABULOUS)

8 Drops Bergamot: "Oil of Community" Helps you recognize that many people love and support you.

5 Drops Cassia: "Oil of Self Assurance” Provides self confidence and helps you see your true beauty. Great for those who are shy and timid.

5 Drops Wild Orange: "Oil of Abundance" Allows you to feel the warmth and love in. your heart. from all the people contented to you.

3 Drops Grapefruit: "Oil of Honoring the Body" Gives you discernment on who to let in and who to keep out of your space.

3 Drops Marjoram: "Oil of Connection" Breaks down the walls that block the heart from opening and restores trust in humanity. Creates trust and openness. so that. a true bond can be formed in friendships.

2 Drops Ylang Ylang: "Oil of Inner Child" Heals the heart from past pain and heartache. Encourages play and restores a childlike nature and innocence. There are many kind, loving people in the world. Ylang Ylang will create the desire to deeply connect with those exceptional people we meet daily.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON ESSENTIAL OILS, CHECK OUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THEM HERE.


SEASON 2: COMMUNITY

Each month will be a deep dive into a topic that supports you on your journey to living more fully alive. August’s topic will be on COMMUNITY. Make sure to check out all the episodes from this month’s topic.


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Mary Hyatt