EP:67 - OVERCOMING DEEP INSECURITIES

(This video is recorded from a YouTube LIVE session)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
— Marianne Williamson

Every woman you’ll ever meet has some kind of insecurities.

2 Core Beliefs Surrounding Our Insecurity:

  1. We are flawed -

    The world seems to be screaming: You are not enough. You are broken. You are flawed. You need fixing. We are pretty enough, sexy enough, smart enough, successful enough, happy enough… and the list goes on and on.

  2. Pride comes before a fall -

    In our culture we’ve been taught as woman to self-diminish ourselves. God forbid we love ourselves. Afterall, most of grew up learning that pride is one of the 7 deadly sins. “Loving ourselves is selfish.” We are shamed for our confidence and it’s considered conceded or boastful. So we deflect compliments and try to make ourselves smaller and less bright than we instinctively are. It seems like every woman is playing the self-deprecation game.  

Mix that with the constant reinforcement of social media - and we can’t help to be incredibly conflicted. Insecure. Afraid to love ourselves, and reinforced that we should never think too highly of ourselves.

But who does it serve believing we are broken and flawed? What good does it do the world to believe we need to be fixed? What are you getting out of being insecure and not confident.

Now, beyond the deeper reasons why you have insecurities, my guess is that a lot of it comes from conditioning. You’ve been taught this. Your mind has been shaped by society, by social media, by religion. But it’s one of the biggest lies out there for women.

So let’s break this down and get to the bottom of it.

3 questions you can ask yourself to break yourself out of the insecurity trance:

  1. Who do you think you need to be? What is the pressure you are feeling?

  2. Who’s voice is that?

  3. Who’s expectation is that?

5 WAYS YOU CAN GUARD YOURSELF AGAINST FEELING INSECURE

  1. Delete what is causing insecurities -

    This is where you get a chance to remove the trigger. You will hear me say this a lot. But get rid of magazines and books and then unfollow any social media accounts that trigger insecurity in you.

  2. Replace the mantra -

    Whenever you start to hear your inner dialogue going into a critical tone, immediately snap back to “I am enough.” Essential change the tape, and get back to what is true.

  3. Play your own game -

    When we are comparing, we believe we have to be as good or better than someone else. In looks, in business, in sexiness, in parenting, in partners, in churchign etc. But as Theodore Roosevelt says “Comparison is the thief of joy.” So put your metaphorical blinders on. Run your own race. Play your own game. The only person you are competing against in yourself

  4. Stop apologizing -

    How often do the words “I’m sorry” come out of your mouth? This is the mantra of an insecure person. They apologize for everything! We are so afraid of hurting someone, disappointing in someone, doing it wrong… that every other phrase is “I’m sorry.” But STOP! Confident people who own their enoughness don’t say sorry. Unless you’ve REALLY REALLY done something to cause immense pain. You don’t have to use the buffer of I’m sorry for everyday little stuff.

  5. Act confident -

    I know this sounds silly, but acting as though you aren’t insecure is one of the quickest ways to get over insecurities. If I did believe I was beautiful… what would I wear? If I did believe I was enough right now, what decision would I make? If I did believe I deserve this raise, what would I ask for? If I did believe that I am magnetic and worthy of getting to know, how would I stand? How would I respond? Act as if you already believe you are worthy. You are loveable. Try it on. Test it out. Experiment with this new belief. The more you practice BEING confident… something magical happens. You become confident. It rewires your brain.

Now is the time to embrace who we were created to be. Our very nature. Our womenly essence, collectively. No woman brighter than another. Each of us can shine brightly. And we have to OWN that. Own our very selves. Own being a woman. Powerfully. Because it does not serve anyone around us playing small. Or believing we are broken and flawed. We have a choice over agreeing to any of these lies. There is so much freedom from fear, share, anxiety and judgement when we choose to believe we are worthy, beautiful, whole, enough RIGHT NOW.


WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT releasing your insecurities and claiming your worthiness.

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Mary Hyatt