S2: EP9 - ARE YOU SH**TY FRIEND?

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A bosom friend—an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my innermost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life.
— -Anne of Green Gables

My friend knows best.We typically have a laundry list of things that we want people to do for us.

Ways we want people to show up for us. Ways people could love us better. Ways people could give us better advice. Often times we are complaining about our friends being shitty or not being there in the way that we wished they were there or us.

But because I am a firm believer that we are 100% responsible for our lives, it’s more constructive to focus on ourselves. And so the come to Jesus question for you today is, “Are you a shitty friend?” When was the last time that you evaluated how YOU were showing up in your friendships. 

A bosom friend is a rare kindred spirit that you confide your soul with. It’s your person. It’s the person you seek out when things are going splendidly, and the only one you call during your darkest days. It’s the person you have felt like you’ve known your whole life, or perhaps it is the person you have the longest history with.

It’s a friendship that isn’t forced. It’s a deep soul connection that just is. It’s an energetic bond that you have with only a few individuals in your life, and they are so precious.

And that’s why it’s even more important to understand how to be one to those special people.


It all starts with a couple of presuppositions:

  1. My friend knows best.

  2. My friend is not broken.

  3. Judgment/shame helps no one.

  4. We don’t have to compete.

  5. I am loveable.

So now that we are working from the framework of these presuppositions, let’s dig into some specific ways to be a great friend:

5 WAYS TO BE A PHENOMENAL FRIEND:

  1. BE RELIABLE

  2. BE THE VAULT

  3. LISTEN WITH EMPATHY

  4. BELIEVE IN THEIR BEST

  5. CHALLENGE THEM

A bosom friend is such a gem, and I am grateful to have a few in my life. I remind them often of what a God-send they are. Hold on to those people in your life. Create that beautiful space for them to be their most authentic selves and shower them with love and acceptance at every turn. Allow yourself to keep showing up authentically in that relationship as well. These bosom friends are a true gift.

CONNECTION IS THE ENERGY THAT IS CREATED BETWEEN PEOPLE WHEN THEY FEEL SEEN, HEARD AND VALUED. WHEN THEY CAN GIVE AND RECEIVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
— BRENE BROWN

DIY “CONNECTED” BLEND


RECIPE FROM “I AM FABULOUS” BY DESIREE MANGANDOG

Place drops in a 5ml roller bottle. Fill the rest with fractionated coconut oil. Apply to inside of wrists creases, back of neck and over heart area. *Avoid direct sunlight for 12-24 hours after applying as some of these oils are photosensitive.
Combine: 8 drops cedarwood, 5 cassia, 5 wild orange, 3 grapefruit, 3 marjoram, and 2 ylang ylang.

“Connected blend reminds you that you are not alone. Everyone is part of a greater human community, and also a part of smaller communities. You may benefit from this blend if you were hurt in the past, and then decided to create a wall and not let anyone get close to your heart. It's a defense mechanism. Connected will help you begin letting others deeply in.” - Desiree Mangandog

Essential oils are a powerful tool to help you connect with your emotions and your body. And this blend will help break down your walls to that you can open up to the support a community has to offer.

BLEND BREAKDOWN (TAKEN FROM THE BOOK: I AM FABULOUS)

8 Drops Bergamot: "Oil of Community" Helps you recognize that many people love and support you.

5 Drops Cassia: "Oil of Self Assurance” Provides self confidence and helps you see your true beauty. Great for those who are shy and timid.

5 Drops Wild Orange: "Oil of Abundance" Allows you to feel the warmth and love in. your heart. from all the people contented to you.

3 Drops Grapefruit: "Oil of Honoring the Body" Gives you discernment on who to let in and who to keep out of your space.

3 Drops Marjoram: "Oil of Connection" Breaks down the walls that block the heart from opening and restores trust in humanity. Creates trust and openness. so that. a true bond can be formed in friendships.

2 Drops Ylang Ylang: "Oil of Inner Child" Heals the heart from past pain and heartache. Encourages play and restores a childlike nature and innocence. There are many kind, loving people in the world. Ylang Ylang will create the desire to deeply connect with those exceptional people we meet daily.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON ESSENTIAL OILS, CHECK OUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THEM HERE.


SEASON 2: COMMUNITY

Each month will be a deep dive into a topic that supports you on your journey to living more fully alive. August’s topic will be on COMMUNITY. Make sure to check out all the episodes from this month’s topic.


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Mary Hyatt